A sadistic note from your editor

Dear Writer,

Contradictions, although integral to being human, are quite hard to stomach when found within the pages of an autobiography—but only if they’re totally un-self-aware. There are some contradictions in your work which if we were to work together I would strongly suggest we worm out. As a perfectionist I see writing as a chance to be better than you actually are—whilst also being brutally honest... I could do a really good job here. I will charge you £30/hour (£10 less than usual) because of your circumstance. I work fast and hard. The natural beginning for me here would be a reflection on your last book. There are some aspects there that if you are not willing to interrogate deeply alongside me then I can’t take your new book to the heights it could reach. I understand this is your life so I don’t take it lightly.

Best

Tilly